i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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