There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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