he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
