Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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