My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
