i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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