I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
MIDGETS
????
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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