He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize