watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
