Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
