Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
