is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
