3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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