Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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