make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
