Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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