My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i need some magic done to my vagina
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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