1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
