WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
someone owes me an orgasm
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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