In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
