So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
