she was so not down for the gang bang
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
