If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
