Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
