the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
