You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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