So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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