no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
