i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
