All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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