Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
