So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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