what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
