Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
