do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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