We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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