hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
