Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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