I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
