Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
