I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
