summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
