I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
