Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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