Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
