third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
