People in love make me want to vomit
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my shit smells like andre
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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