Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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