Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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