This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
