She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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