if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
