I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
