you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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