what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How external is "for external use only"?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
