idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
