Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
