Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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