I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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