dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
