She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
