I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize