rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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